Several times in the past couple weeks I’ve been motioned in some way to mention religion and how I feel about it. Now the problem with my telling you what my religious views are is that you might think I’m trying to tell you how, what, when, and who to believe in, and nothing could be further from the truth. Furthermore, as this blog continues to escalate in popularity, and readership, I find it more and more difficult to stand up on a soapbox and tell anyone anything. At one point, however, this blog went from being a blog about writing, to being a blog about a writer, so I do feel somewhat justified in writing about whatever I want. The scary thing is, however, is that I’m this odd bird of a writer; one who’s fine with being unpublished, because unpublished means disassociation, and even non-responsibility. I talk a lot in my podcast about how I feel this freedom to say just about anything in my podcast because frankly my friends do not read my blog, or listen to my podcasts (outside of Renee, of course!) I write about all kinds of things, and never once has a friend called me and agreed or disagreed on my views. I’ve wrote downright heart warming things about my sister, things my sister would cry her eyes out if she ever read, but alas, she has no time for me. I’ve often thought of myself as a Thursday friend. I try not to wonder why or what it is about me that no one ever wants to do anything with me on the weekend, when I actually have the day off and can stay up late, and drink, talk or what have you, but the reality of my life, is that I’m a Thursday friend. I get calls for sushi only on Thursdays. I only get calls for movies on Thursdays … but I digress (as usual).

Back to this public privacy I have, my friends often ask me what’s the title of my blog, or where they can find my podcasts, and I tell them, but they never listen or read them. Perhaps they feel that they hear me enough so they don’t have to tune in, so to speak.

The reason I write all this is that you’d think that this blog and podcast would end up costing me friends, because sometimes I write about controversial stuff, but it hasn’t. My facebook page, ironically, has cost me more and more friends daily, as my old friends understand that I haven’t changed. I still stand for truth, justice and the American Way, so to speak. I don’t waver, I didn’t find god, or the morals and ethics I was lacking as a youth, because quite frankly I always had morals and ethics, but they belong to me and not to some super natural power that bullies me into them.

Perhaps when you write to your mind, you are a thinker; when you write to your fingertips, you are an optimist, and when you write to a screen, like I do, you are action, and whether you like it or not, that action has consequences. My consequences will be opinions, hurt feelings, and even lost friendships, for what I begin to write about is controversy. This is not about voting or not voting, it is about the very core of one’s belief systems, and what makes them do everything, from get up in the morning, to how they raise their kids, to what they eat on Friday.

One of my friends told me that she let her children, 14 and 15 watch movies, but she censors out the “bad” parts (by the way, and this has nothing to do with the what I’m about to write, but she spelled censored, “sensored,” because evidently censorship has no spell-check.). She is a lovely girl, but I don’t like her lines. We all have lines in the sand that we draw and hope are in the right spot. I mean I wouldn’t let a child watch porn, for instance, but on the same note, I wouldn’t be so bend out of shape if my 15-year-old son got his hand on some and jerked off to it. My lines are there, but they’re not the same. I don’t censor normal stuff from anyone. I have never held back words like condom, or sex, or intercourse from my nephews and nieces. I haven’t lied to them and told them that sex isn’t any good unless you’re in love and married, but I also have never told them that the hottest sex I’d ever had was with a stranger I met at a club … and the only words I remember uttering was “hey you wanna fuck?”

I guess I need to start right away, to ward off anyone reading who hopes to find some hope in what I write, I think that all people who are religious have been convinced that the Kool-Aid taste good, and are just waiting for it to be passed around while some guy on a megaphone thanks you for the young vagina of your daughters they got to partake of while you were worshiping his god. I tend to doubt the existence of a super natural being that created me with the ability to build a church, the knees for which to kneel, and the fear I needed to shape my life. I fear the government, and I fear religion, because it is all created by an imperfect creature, man, and they are all disguised as divine and omnipotent. Religion cannot, by definition, be questioned.

I don’t need to begin to write about all the atrocities done in the name of god, but I can tell you this much, it’s getting worse. If 911 didn’t scare you, be scared by Black Water a private security company that provides security in the Middle East. The owner of said company has implied he is on some sort of a holy war; modern day Christian Crusade. If you’re not cared of the Taliban, be scared of the Mormons who have spent millions of their follower’s money to prevent gay people from having equal protection under the law in the state of California, a right supposedly guaranteed to everyone … unless the majority votes it down. If you’re not afraid of the Reverend Phelps who protests funerals of people who die of AIDS, be afraid of Phillip Garrido, who claims he can talk to god, which made him kidnap and molest a young girl for 20 years.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that god himself is a great notion, but in practice he is a dangerous idea that when left in the imperfect hands of humanity … well you know the story. If you convince someone that there is a perfect being who is the soul dispenser of an eternal afterlife of bliss, then you have taken the first step. The notion that god is benevolent is an American public relations creation. The same god they worship is the same one who killed science, which provides the engine for the modern middle class. The same god they worship killed strong women as witches. The same god they worship left the world void of philosophy and literature for hundreds of years. The same god they worship justified slavery and racism. The same god they worship defined a master race and killed millions of people in a holocaust that continues to shock the modern world. But I think the worse part of this god they believe in made them to accept their station in life, and to believe in the inherent right of others to rule and to torture and dominate. The same god they worship has been anything but benevolent. I am of the belief that as the world gets more secular, the world becomes more human and more humane. I think that god is outside of grasp of humanity and he does not have our best interests at heart.

So what do I believe? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I live my life trying to make my corner of it better. I am a friend to those I call friend, and am kind to those I am acquainted with. I respect all things, and respect all beliefs if they don’t cause harm. I guess I’m trying to say is that I live in a community and if you need your fleas picked off of you, I’ll hang out on the log and do it …

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